Wednesday, March 7, 2012

There once was a boy from Peru,
Who gave everything but his shoes.
When asked to give that
He said, "You just took my hat.
I'd prefer to keep one thing to lose."


Monday, May 2, 2011

Chapter 8

Sir Henry deposited Catherine at the Coleworth gate and asked her to make his excuses to her family. Catherine gave her mother the parcels, not mentioning her escort, and escaped to the chicken coop.

“There’s no shame in mindlessly feeding chickens”, she grumbled to herself. “Why should one worry about the place and the rights of the chicken feeder in society? Why should the chicken feeder be either an object of study or gain a voice for him or herself? What difference does it make? Perhaps it even hurts society to promote chicken-feeder consciousness. Shouldn’t we all just sing softly as we feed and eat chickens? Well, maybe not singing and eating at the same time. But surely one should just be tasting and enjoying with sweet music in one’s head.

Chick, chick, chicken
never leave a speck
cluckety, peckity, cluckety peck,

all you care

is that someone puts it there

What else matters?

“Reading is diverting and enlightening,” she thought after giving up on song-writing, “but there is such a thing as idle curiosity.” Sir Henry’s point about understanding each other came to her mind and connected with her. “Reading isn’t just about learning new things, it’s understanding other people. I like learning how they think and what they feel is important. Isn’t that nosiness? Hopefully people like to be understood. But does a chicken farmer need to be understood? I guess that’s up to others to decide and not the chicken farmer girl person.

“I wonder why he talked about casualties. Will Father or Uncle Josiah be punished for raiding Lord Essex’s library? Will we be punished for learning from it? It’s for certain that we’ll not be allowed to borrow any more books.”

***

“Henry,” bellowed Lord Essex as he met him at the door of the mansion, “I demand to know which tenant you are experimenting on.”

“‘Experimenting’ is better than ‘corrupting.’ Does that mean you’ve warmed to the idea, Father?”

“Hardly. I need to make sure that this foolishness goes no further.”

“Why don’t we wait for the results of my experiment, and then you can decide.”

“What sort of results?”

“Increased productivity.”

“If a tenant’s yields increase by his own education and independent thinking, will he not begin to feel he is outgrowing his position? He will also want to increase his property and his goods. How many more demands will he make for his family? The natural balance will be set off.”

“The various impacts cannot be fully predicted. I believe one must act on principle and not always with the status quo in mind as the top priority. It is not right to keep people in the dark. They should have the opportunity for educating themselves as much as they are able and care to.”

“I see that you believe your intentions are good, but I do not believe you understand the risks to society by this line of thinking.”

“Risks to our aristocratic society you mean.”

“When you observe tenants and servants, do you not find them happy in the simplicity of their existence? Do you not observe in our class, if you will, the burden of responsibility?” Are you certain you have considered this fully?”

“I believe the expansion of one’s horizon is worth the burden, Father.”

“Industrialization is already threatening the simplicity of the tenant arrangement. It’s one thing to have one’s horizons expanded in an agricultural setting, but what if that expansion leads to losing it?”

“I’m not sure that has to be so.”

“The risk is real, Henry.”

“Younger people aren’t as afraid of risk.”

“That is true,” Lord Essex granted. “I still want to know who you have been educating.”

“Why? What do you plan to do about it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then neither do I.”

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Chapter 7

Sir Henry maintained his calm as he strode towards the stables. He knew his father’s position, and had planned to plant just a seed of an idea today. Yet even though Lord Byron’s reaction was predicted, Sir Henry could not quell his disappointment. He was used to his father’s temper and his half-hearted, semi-amusing insults, which he did not believe afflicted any real wounds. Apathy may be a sort of wound as it was. He found it encroaching on his grand scheme as well. What good is an education when one’s relationships are so strained. He would wait out the storm on horseback.

A few hours later he drew towards the Coleworth’s road. He came upon Catherine carrying some parcels home. When she heard the approaching horse steps, she turned. Sir Henry saw her smile before she quickly concealed it behind an impassive face. “Good afternoon, Miss Coleworth.”

“Good afternoon, Sir Henry.”

“Would you like Roman to carry your goods?” he offered as he dismounted.

“They aren’t a burden, thank you.”

“May I walk with you, then?”

“Surely.”

“I know I haven’t been around lately.”

“You must be very busy,” Catherine hurriedly filled in to keep him from having to explain.

“Busy,” he said shortly.

Catherine decided not to push the conversation further.

“What have you been reading lately?” he asked to distract himself.

“Actually nothing. I can’t keep my mind on it.”

“I’ve been wondering about the point lately anyway. I was so happy to hear of your family’s enjoyment of books, and thought it would make such a difference. It has made a difference. I don’t know if we would have understood each other so well had we not read many of the same or same types of things. But what if neither of us had? I suppose we would have been happier with what we were told from our forefathers.”

“I don’t know about happier. At least accepting. But what if our immediate forefathers were wrong? Aren’t ancient writers also our forefathers?”
“Excellent point. Somehow though, accepting them can make it harder to accept one’s closer relatives, which feels like disloyalty. Besides, they had similar ideas of class.”

“When I read them, I can’t help but consider their point of view rather than the point of view of other objects and classes of their scrutiny. If they are free to categorize about the world, then so should I be because I’m hearing first person and interpreting in first person. I think most people identify, unless it’s too unpalatable, with the author.”

“But those in power wont feel you have the right,” Henry said bluntly.

“I haven’t had much dealings with them, nor sought it out.”

Henry looked at her and wondered how that would be. “Until I showed up. Not that you’ve sought out my visits.”

Catherine kept her eyes on the road before her.

“Do you mind my visits?”

“I enjoy them, but at the same time I find them confusing. I don’t know how candid I should be, for one thing.”

“I like your candor.”

“Don’t you think about the ‘should’ness of it?”

“Not really.”

“That confuses me too. How is it so easy for you? I guess because you are used to freedom. Till now I have been free in my reading, but nothing else. It was all very innocent. Father did not tell us until you started visiting that the books were borrowed without permission. I don’t know what I’d have thought if he’d told us that it was our right to learn without the consent of the Lords. Now it feels wrong. I’m not really the rebellious type.”

“I am if I’m convinced that wrongs are being done. I don’t think the aristocracy is right to keep workers uneducated. However, once you decide to fight something, there’s going to be casualties. I don’t want you to be one of them.”

“I don’t feel that I need the liberty to read or death. Like I say, I don’t even want to read right now.”

“I wonder why that is.”

She turned moistened eyes up to him. Her look caused a tremor in his chest. He stopped himself from reaching for her.

“Hard to read with misty eyes I guess.” He handed her his kerchief, and she dabbed her eyes as they walked along in silence.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Chapter 6

Dear Sir Henry,

I am especially intrigued by your grouping together senses and emotions. One cannot help how much one’s mouth may water, for example, in response to smelling a savory food, so it may follow that one cannot help one’s emotional responses. We do not choose what makes us happy or sad. In one sense this puts emotions on an animal level, even if some of our emotions are higher than theirs. I suppose it is good to devalue them in this way. It would be natural to assume that rational thought is above emotions, yet I am glad that you do not place it at the top. Not that we are to discard all these things, but we are to place them in the proper chain of command, as it were.

Thank you for your thoughts.

Regards,
Catherine Coleworth

Catherine could not help feeling disappointed at how proper it all was, but she did not want to place this emotion in the forefront. There were other things to consider. Sir Henry’s response to her letter was similar. How nice it was to be able to categorize things correctly, but surprising was how empty the exercise left him.

After some days Josiah wondered at Sir Henry’s extended absence. He and Susannah Coleworth had suspected he was becoming interested in Catherine and had anticipated more visits. It did seem that both of them had talked themselves out of moving towards union, however, even if Catherine at least was unhappy about it. She devoted herself more fervently to her prayers, but her joylessness at it concerned him. Previously she had engaged in her prayers more light-heartedly. Though Josiah agreed that cultivating the spirit is a first priority, his daughter’s somberness worried him. Why must romantic attachment be so important to women and their parents? Survival of the species and the nature of women in desiring their husbands and in finding fulfillment in child-bearing is a curse and a blessing.

Meanwhile, Sir Henry busied himself with the affairs of the estate and found a certain fulfilment in maintaining and improving its efficiency. Once his father returned from his trip, Sir Henry broached the topic of a community library.

“What the devil?” said Lord Byron abashed, the smoke from his pipe puffing out with each syllable. “Tenants have no time for such high-minded pursuits. It will take their attention off their farming.”

“I think you underestimate them, Father. Some may have the capacity to handle both, not to mention the idea that if they are more educated, they may care more about their work.”

“Nonsense. They learn the traditional methods and are rewarded with their yeilds. Their stomachs make them care about their work.”

“I wonder how my education relates to how much I care about their work and their minds. I could perform an experiment on one of the tenants We have never been afraid of trying new methods to increase productivity, Father. Surely one tenant’s education,” he did not think his father was ready to consider a whole family of men and women, “wont spoil anything if it doesn’t go well.” Sir Henry also did not want to tell his father that this had already occurred covertly.

“Balderdash. It would be like mixing oil and water. Leave it alone.”

“I can’t, Father. I’ve already made efforts with one of them.”

His Father looked at him more seriously. “You’ve gone off your nut! What possessed you to defy order and class distinctions! I’d no idea I’d raised a renegade. Where’s the loyalty, where’s the family responsibility? If only I’d had another son! Miriam! Come here!”

Lady Essex proceeded into the study. “What is it, Dear?”

“Your son has sold the family name to the tenants. All is lost.”

“Surely not, Dear.”

“Don’t you defy me, too, Woman!”

“How has Henry sold the family name?”

“By pretending he was not born noble and that they were not born workers. How could you have raised him without a sense of place? It’s all because of your embarrassment with the servants. I’ve told you to maintain a proper distance and respect for distinctions!”

“It is true that I have not felt a distinction between their existence and my own. I do not see diverse endeavors in a hierarchical way. There is a greatness to serving.”

“Then let them keep their greatness! How dare Henry demean them by filling them with high-minded philosophy!”

“I agree. I don’t see the use.”

Remembering his discomfort with Catherine made him question it too. Had he been unwise to support the Coleworth’s reading, and then to engage them in classless conversation?

“Which tenant are you corrupting?” demanded Lord Byron.

“I’ll not say until we’ve reached more of an understanding.”

And with that Sir Henry removed himself to the grounds.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Dear Miss Coleworth, ℅ Mr. Josiah Coleworth

I am writing to you instead of speaking in person because of the personal nature of discussing the senses, as we began to do when I last visited your family. The senses are both personal and according to human nature, so I do not want to neglect the topic merely out of respect for individual feelings. Hopefully one can retain personal distance through an intermediary such as pen and paper as only the sense of sight is involved in reading the words.

If I may speculate. It is the human senses that initially detect relationship between diverse objects, visible and invisible. The invisible is felt mainly by emotions. Humans place value on things, many times based on feelings, either higher or lower ones. For example, through taste we determine which foods and their various combinations are good and which are not. Regulating the senses is our conscience. Though a food may be “good”, judgment determines when and how much of it we eat. A sensual person does not use judgment as much as one who lives more in his head, so to speak. A person who lives in his head may have different troubles regulating his idealism, however, but that is another topic.

In addition to judgment, we also have a spirit that if rightly related to, can guide us above the senses, or help us put them in their proper place. A spiritual person isn’t solely reliant on their senses and emotions, nor on their rationality, but receives inspiration and direction from their relationship to God. This relationship takes much cultivation.

Therefore, as you so astutely observed, relationship is the binding or repelling force between diverse objects.

Respectfully,
Sir Henry John Essex


Catherine struggled with her mixed feelings after reading Sir Henry’s letter. During their initial talk, she had been chiefly motivated by a desire to understand, but she had also been impacted by the personal nature of the senses discussed. Indeed the question of hoping for more had presented itself. She also pondered the idea of putting emotions in the same category as the senses, as if they were as common and automatic as physical reactions. She decided that she should pursue this thought on paper also.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Alternate Chapter 4

Sir Henry returned to the Coleworths a few days later. Towards the end of the conversation-filled meal, Catherine asked Sir Henry, "If we do not agree with the dialectic process of thesis, antithesis, and synthesis, what is the good of a conversation? Do we always need to maintain diversity?”

Glad that she was keeping up with the conversation, Sir Henry explained, "Diversity will always be maintained because everything imagined already exists, or else it could not be imagined. If a synthesis is created, it becomes a third thing. The third thing may be preferable to both conversants, but the other two things should not be seen as being destroyed by the process. They remain options. People tend to like to burn bridges because keeping the other options open produces anxiety and insecurity. I suggest that the reason for the insecurity does not lie in the likelihood of a person changing their mind, but in the individualized value of necessity placed on one of the options to the exclusion of the rest. This is not to say that one option should not be thus valued, but the insecurity associated with it may have unhealthy factors attached. Reasons become all-important. Not objectives. Determining reasons then becomes the goal of conversation. Could your reason for asking be based on a fear of silence?"

"Hmm. Perhaps. Silence and the connotation of lack of relationship that goes along with it."

"Ah. Relationship is the mysterious element when things are allowed to maintain their diversity. What would conversation be like then, individuals explaining their differences?"

"I suppose a response could be to point out similarities."

"Similarities amongst diverse individuals. One could be afraid, again a reason, not a negation of the possibility, of losing individuality if similarities are focused on."

"Then one could discuss the value of fear or move beyond that to the relationship of similarity to diversity."

"How like a woman to keep bringing it back to relationship! Or how about a comparison, contrast of synthesis to relationship? Actually, I wonder if there is such a thing as a synthesis. In chemistry, a solution is able to retain the properties of both the solvent and the solute, though the solvent keeps its dominant physical properties."

"When a person drinks a glass of highly concentrated salt-water, which are you most aware of, the water or the salt?" Catherine said, not the least flustered.

Sir Henry, however, was. He quickly recovered. "Tasting being the required step to detect the diversity."

Now it was Catherine’s turn to fluster. The others busied themselves preparing the table for clearing.

"Comparing and contrasting tasting to the other senses involved, mainly sight and touch, would be an interesting conversation."

"Maybe too interesting, which would be a reason not to have it now." Then to the family, "Thank you for the delightful evening. I must be going."

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Pysanky note

Each line is infinite around the egg. It always surprises me when it meets itself on the other side. 20 down, 4 to go.