To the tune of "Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music.
Rainbows on gay people's windows and litter on kittens,
Microwaved hot water and chemical packs in mittens,
Tons of cardboard shipping boxes mean many trees died,
These are a few of modernity's things.
Genetically designed ponies and Krispy Kreme drive-thru donuts,
IM bells and cell bells and Chef Boyardee noodles,
Wild geese that fly into airplane wings,
These are a few of modernity's things.
Girls in white dresses even though they're not virgins,
Snowflakes that get blown by belching smoke blowers,
Silver white winters that melt into dammed springs,
These are a few of modernity's things.
When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply sue someone and take prescription pain numb-ers,
And then I don't feel so bad.
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